We all have an inner voice, but sometimes that voice isn’t very kind. It tells us things like “You’re not good enough,”“You’ll never get it right,” or “Why even try?” This kind of negative self-talk can chip away at our confidence and make us feel stuck. The good news? You don’t have to keep listening to that voice. You can rewrite the script in your mind and start lifting yourself up instead of tearing yourself down.
How to Ditch Self-Criticism and Build Yourself Up
1. Catch the Negative Talk When It Happens
Imagine you’re trying something new, and you mess up. If your first thought is, “I’m so stupid. I can’t do anything right,” pause and ask yourself:
- Would I say this to a friend?
- Is this thought actually true, or am I just being harsh on myself?
Instead, try rewording it:
🔄 Negative Thought: “I’ll never get this right.”
✅ Better Thought: “I’m still learning. I can improve with practice.”
2. Flip the Script with Positive Affirmations
Affirmations might feel silly at first, but they train your brain to think in a healthier way. Every time you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” replace it with something positive like:
- “I am doing my best, and that’s enough.”
- “I am learning and growing every day.”
3. Treat Yourself Like a Friend
Think about how you’d comfort a friend who’s struggling. You wouldn’t say, “Yeah, you totally suck at this.” You’d probably say something encouraging, like “Everyone makes mistakes, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Try treating yourself with that same kindness.
4. Write It Down
Journaling can help you catch negative patterns in your thinking. Try writing down your thoughts at the end of the day and looking for moments when you were too hard on yourself. Rewrite those thoughts in a more encouraging way.
Example:
📝 Harsh Thought: “I bombed that presentation. I’m awful at public speaking.”
📝 New Thought: “I was nervous, and that’s normal. Next time, I’ll practice more and get better.”