As part of Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, we would like to take a moment and introduce you to Sade. You may have seen her in the office, read about her on our newsletters or social media, or as of recently, joined her live for one of her art webinars. We hope that by reading about her, you can get to know her better and meet her outside of her role as a therapist.
How long have you been married?
I have been married for 7 years. My husband and I met during our undergrad years at Boston College.
How did you decide to move to NC?
While living in Maryland during my master’s program at Johns Hopkins University, my husband and I created a list of places we could see ourselves living in and raising a family. We both felt very drawn to North Carolina and felt Charlotte was the perfect balance of some city and southern living.
What is it like to have three children under the age of 7?
Ahhhh! It is absolutely wild at times! We have great support from our mothers who live with us. We try to keep them very busy with lots of outdoor activities to burn off as much energy as possible. Our daughter, 5, is very helpful and frequently acts as though she is the second mommy to her brothers. Our son, 3, is energetic, independent and also exceptionally helpful and our second son, who is 1, is super sweet and playful. On top of the three children under the age of 7, we also decided to add a Goldendoodle puppy to the mix! Needless to say, my home is at times like a circus. Nevertheless, fun and rewarding!
How do you find time for yourself?
Honestly, that is still something that I am working on. Like many other mothers, you often have a sense of guilt when you are away from you children or not giving all your attention and energy to them. In the little moments, I love to paint my nails, do my hair, facemasks, and clean my house. I am an artist also, so stepping back into my creative shoes as an abstract expressionist is also something I am doing to take care of myself. My husband is very good at encouraging this in me and reminding me that I have to do this.
What do you do for fun?
I love to be outdoors, despite bugs and pollen! I enjoy hiking, going on walks, painting, and spending time with family.
What did you like about your 20s and what do you look forward to in your 30s?
My twenties were simply a lot of hard work! However, I enjoyed becoming a mother especially in my twenties. Now in my thirties, I look forward to traveling, buying my first home, creating and selling beautiful paintings, and creating great memories with my family.
How do you not become your family and friend’s therapist?
While it is hard to sometimes take off my therapy glasses and remove my therapeutic hat, I am pretty good at establishing healthy relational boundaries with friends and family. Nevertheless, therapy is in my bones, and while giving friends and family advice may be easy, I do enjoy asking the right questions to friends and family that results in them thinking and getting to a solution on their own – which to me is even a boundary in some way. I also am good at releasing “other people’s stuff” and not taking it on as my own.
What is your favorite form of self-care and why?
Quiet time, cleaning, organizing or painting is my favorite. Both I am in control, and usually I am able to mentally escape or reflect in a way that is super fulfilling.
How did you know you wanted to be in this profession?
I’ve actually shared this story with several clients recently. I went into undergrad with the plans of becoming a doctor one day. Mid-way through my sophomore year, after science classes that were super hard, I went to counseling center and met with someone to get some guidance. I took a career personality test and therapist was one of the careers that matched well with traits I had. I knew I wanted to be in a helping profession, and I was truly enjoying my psychology and sociology courses at the time – so sha-bang! A therapist I became!